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| Teddy Lupin |
Teddy is the son of Remus and Tonks Lupin. Haven't heard of them? Maybe you should start reading books, because they are awesome WIZARDS. Teddy studied at the alma mater of his parents, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He is currently married to the wizard of comedy, Tina Fey. In his free time he rides his firebolt, and fights for werewolf rights.
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| Lily Evans |
Back from the dead and happier than ever, Lily Evans arrived at CNN after a run-in with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. In true Potter style, she refuses to die, and was in hiding until she was sure her son killed the Dark Lord. She is very proud of Harry and is happy to be reunited with him. She is CNN's wizarding world correspondent, and works with Teddy Lupin to report on magical news.
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| Larry Queen |
You might have heard of Larry Queen's grandfather. He is a little man by the name of Buzz Aldrin. Yes, Mr. Queen continues his family's pursuit of greatness here on Earth, in the field of reporting. Larry Queen's pursuit of the truth is unparalleled, his passion for honesty unmatched. He is currently dating Vanessa Hudgens, ex-girlfriend of Zac Efron. Yes, Larry Queen beats Zefron. In his time, he enjoys weekly expeditions to the moon with his legendary grandfather, and plans on starting a lunar colony by mid-March.
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| Alli Karrefte |
Alli Karrefte comes to CNN from across the pond. Educated at Oxford, she won the Pulitzer Prize 19 years in a row. She is only 24. When she is not writing, she is taking care of her aging mother, Betty White. Her mother instilled in her a love for shuffle-board, and just last week beat President Obama in the White House shuffle board tournament. Later that night, she cooked a seafood dinner for the President, with the skills she obtained when she was on Iron-chef. She was runner up.
Ms. Flowers had an ironic childhood. The daughter of a paper-tycoon and professional deforester, she sought environmental reform and changed her name to reflect the beauty of her favorite plant: the rose. She is best friends with Mother Nature, and they often go to vegan restaurants for lunch. With complete control over the seasons, she is essentially a goddess, and worthy of our praise, for fear she refuses to let plants grow, and the world goes hungry.
A five-time (local) Emmy Award-winning journalist, he is the main anchor for the CNN Channel 4 News Team from 1964 to 1977. Always confident and well-dressed, he is ignorant, egotistical, misogynistic, and narcissistic, stating that he believes "diversity" to be some type of "old, old wooden ship used in the Civil War era." Ron knows almost nothing of the news or what makes it work, and is a success because he "reads the news quite very well." Despite this he remains the rock for the entire group. He develops an infatuation with newcomer Veronica Corningstone, initially having trouble wooing her with tried and true measures that allegedly won him many bimbo-type women in the past. He has a great fondness for a good glass of scotch whisky, poetry, and his good friend/pet dog Baxter, and he plays a rather mean jazz flute.
Wolf Plitzer. I know, I know. Funny name, right? Wolf? Is he a dog? Well, Mr. Plitzer actually comes from a long line of Persian cat breeders. Yes, before entering the journalism, he was a successful business tycoon, even inventing his own line of cat food: Hungry like the Wolf. Plitzer owns 47 prize winning cats, and is developing a new breed of cat that can fly. Surprisingly, he does not live alone in a trailer in the mid-west. To the contrary, he lives in a brown-stone in New York with several Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models. He is often confused with the more excitingly named Wolf Blitzer, a similarity which haunts him to this day.
Wolf Plitzer
Wolf Plitzer. I know, I know. Funny name, right? Wolf? Is he a dog? Well, Mr. Plitzer actually comes from a long line of Persian cat breeders. Yes, before entering the journalism, he was a successful business tycoon, even inventing his own line of cat food: Hungry like the Wolf. Plitzer owns 47 prize winning cats, and is developing a new breed of cat that can fly. Surprisingly, he does not live alone in a trailer in the mid-west. To the contrary, he lives in a brown-stone in New York with several Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models. He is often confused with the more excitingly named Wolf Blitzer, a similarity which haunts him to this day.
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| Eileen Pacman |
World-record holder Eileen Pacman recently changed her name in celebration of her significant achievement in attaining the highest Pacman score in history. When she is not playing Pacman or Solitaire, Eileen is travelling the world in search of the best stories with her Canon 20D in hand. Rumor has it, Eileen climbed to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro in search of a six-legged winged creature that locals claimed they had spotted. An adventurous soul, Eileen can be depended on to passionately seek out fantastic stories.
Provocative Polly is known to be a shy reporter with diligent questions. However, do not let that misjudge you. She is known to be very crafty on finding her information. Former Gossip Girl worker, she has a bright sense of style. Irrelevant, but she does manage to do her work.
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| Provocative Polly |
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| Pam Beesly-Halpert |
Pam Beesley Halpert was born and raised in Scranton, PA. She was simply a secretary
engaged to a warehouse worker when a nice paper salesmen named Jim started working at
Dunder-Mifflin and spent literally hours at the receptionist's desk. They were married after lots of drama and lame things. After deciding to climb the career ladder a little bit higher, Pam had to choose between being a paper salesman or a hotshot reporter for CNN, Pam decided to enter the world of journalism. It has been a long journey, but the Pulitzers make everything worth it. In her free time, she enjoys watching NBC comedies and making that's we she said jokes.
